For those we love, we make promises to heal, to smile into the sun and not shed crazy tears - don’t waste today as the future escapes. Those sages forget that water soothes and walls reign in. Four years today and the truth leaks in: now, shaking it, breaking them slowly.
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things i need to remember
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HOW TO FEEL FULFILLED AS AN
ARTISTTHERAPIST1. NEVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER
ARTISTSTHERAPISTS.2. KNOW THAT YOUR FAMILY IS BIASED. WHETHER FOR OR AGAINST, THEIR VIEWS ARE SKEWED AND DO NOT REPRESENT AN ACCURATE REFLECTION OF YOUR WORK IN THE WORLD.
3. BASE YOUR SUCCESS ON HOW YOUR
ART…
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When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
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If you’re afraid you can’t write, the answer is to write. Every sentence you construct adds weight to the balance pan. If you’re afraid of what other people will think of your efforts, don’t show them until you write your way beyond your fear. If writing a book is impossible, write a chapter. If writing a chapter is impossible, write a page. If writing a page is impossible, write a paragraph. If writing a paragraph is impossible, write a sentence. If writing even a sentence is impossible, write a word and teach yourself everything there is to know about that word and then write another, connected word and see where their connection leads. A page a day is a book a year.
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tj:
My office is downtown — well, as much as there is a “downtown” here — and we occasionally get people who stop in looking for “help.”
More often we get people who call looking for help. They are going through the phone book, trying one after another. We have a small fund in our annual budget for…
This is lovely. So respectful, beautifully understanding and humane. Thank you, TJ, indeed! (and Leah, for sharing.)
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Transformations happen quickly. We were discussing birthdays – orange smiles and granny smith fangs are fun, but clowns are even better. He’d been pleading cheerily over the top of this: where was Superman and could he please sit at the table with us if he promised to be really, really good?
Mid-negotiation, he made a connection: ‘Tomorrow is the first of June!’ The tears came then with the barest of bare chin wobbles and a mist of gloomy dew. He looked distraught enough to panic, but we pressed anyway. ‘My birthday didn’t come,’ he whispered. ‘May is gone and my birthday didn’t come!’
Stricken by his distress, we spoke of unbirthdays and their specialness, cupcakes and secret superhero missions. But, we were shocked and when he calmed, we checked again. Good news: B-day is still a couple of months away. To say I’ve never seen a child beam that wide would be a lie, but it came pretty close.
It amazes me sometimes to see how little it takes to make a child smile. Where we, as adults, go to such lengths to hide our emotions, protecting and restraining ourselves with dangerous layers of subterfuge and denial, they thrive in the epicentre of emotion where the slightest touch can tip the balance and then nudge it back again. They’re not afraid to feel, until we teach them to be. Should we be taking lessons from them instead?
At 27, I don’t know that I’ll ever feel that strongly about my own birthday, but damned if I won’t fight to make each and every one a special one for those that do. If that’s you, keep the spirit. Parents, your kids are special. I know you know it, but hug your kids more, please. Thanks.
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Who will tell the children if they’re black or white?
Who will draw the dividing line between the day and night?
Running down the street are little girls and boys:
The colour of their feet makes no difference to the noise.
Who will tell the children what is good or bad?
Who will give them prejudices that their parents had?
Little children’s footsteps pattering in the street
How long before they worry about the colour of their feet?
- Unknown
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Time escapes like air through a slack jaw. Between motions of necessity, a wheeze pushes through - a certain labouring behind each breath which cannot be stopped. Wishing our vapours into dreamscapes with every exhalation, we climb stairs in search of landings, strive for heights beyond our reach and know that if we believe and hope enough we may just see…
There is no limit in our striving, no stretch too much a fantasy within the measure we created to mark our memories.
[These last few weeks have been amazing - challenging, rewarding, but incredibly intense. It’s time for a rebirth: I can feel it near.]
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